Letting go of expectations....

Today was just one of those days.  A day where everything seemed like an uphill battle. 

It started out seemingly normal, except for some mild crankiness from our oldest.  Crankiness turned into whining (Oh! How I deplore whining!).  Whining into crying.  Crying into rudeness, talking back, and a general mean-spirit.  This resulted in Josiah spending much of the morning sitting in the corner, sulking, and waiting for his heart to change.  All this before Daddy whisked out the door for a full day of meetings. 

Alas, the heart did change, though the sulkiness somehow remained.  Expectation #1:  A true heart change results in a happy, easy to care for child.  WRONG!  While Josiah did repent for his bad attitude, his sulkiness remained.  Thankfully, in this moment during the day, I did indeed listen to the prompting of the Holy Spirit.  I asked.  I dug.  I nudged.  And I finally uncovered what his little spirit was wrestling with.  He missed his Grandma & Granddaddy from North Carolina.  He had to say goodbye to them on Sunday as we traveled back to NY.  And to him, saying goodbye meant "I'll never see you again." 

Its moments like this today where God is teaching me a valuable lesson.  My life isn't about my agenda.  It isn't about my expectations.  It isn't really about me at all.  But its about learning to live sacrificially.  Learning to love sacrificially.  Did I have other plans for this morning?  YOU BET!  Did I really want to deal with a difficult child most of the day?  DEFINITELY NOT!  Do I like being inconvenienced?  ABSOLUTELY NOT!  But it's not about me.  It's not about living for myself, but demonstrating God's love to my children.  So here's to letting go of my own expectations.  Letting go of my own ideas on how the day should go (which can often be unrealistic).  Letting go of what I think is the necessary agenda, and letting God's agenda play out instead. 

Abby, Jojo, and Granddaddy

Abby & Grandma

 

Jojo and his two cousins, Shaina & Lea